What She Needed
by artisticgirl89
Summary: When life falls apart, all she knows to do is get away. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I in the past, held the rights to Gilmore Girls (and I highly doubt I ever shall). Lorelai, Rory, and all other characters are the product of Amy Sherman Palladino's mind. And of course I don't own "Boston" by Augustana.

A/N: This is my first posted story, but don't let that deter you from giving an honest opinion. Feedback is greatly appreciated! If you notice any grammatical errors (significant ones), just let me know and I'll correct them. This story varies slightly from the season 6 storyline. After Jess visited in "Let Me Here Your Balalaikas Ringing", Rory broke up with Logan permanently. It takes place a day or so after that. This won't be a Literati or any other ship for that matter.

Kellie

What She Needed

_I think I'll go to Boston  
I think that I'm just tired  
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind  
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset  
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice_

_-_Boston_, Augustana_

Something took over for her when she turned the key in the ignition. As she merged onto the highway, she pondered whether this was the right thing. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Perhaps this was just running away from her problems. She didn't really care. This was what she needed – to get away from it all. She cranked up the radio when her cell phone rang, ignoring whoever was on the other end. When she got wherever she was going, she'd call and let everyone know she was alright. Until then, she needed to be alone. No Logan. No friends. No grandparents.

What had happened? The old Rory Gilmore always knew where she was going in life. The new her was a college dropout being groomed to be a trophy wife to a man who refused to grow up. She was a disappointment to all those who cared anything for her. Her mother had raised her to be different.

Her mother.

She hadn't even spoken to her best friend in months. How did they get to that point? For years she had been so grateful to have such a wonderful mother/daughter relationship with her mom. But it had all fallen apart. And what scared her most was that she knew no matter what happened in the future, there would be scars from this period of time. Their relationship had been changed forever. They couldn't go back to the way things were before. Unshed tears stung her eyes as she pulled off the highway to find a coffee shop. If she was going to start reflecting, she needed coffee.

A couple miles off the highway, she found a small coastal town. Her smile was bittersweet – it reminded her of Stars Hollow only with an ocean view. She stopped at a coffee shop and ordered a cup to go, then ventured out onto the beach. She strolled along the shore line for awhile with her thoughts as a companion.

The breakdown began with Dean she realized. _That was a mistake, I can see that now._ Did she and her mother ever really recover from that incident? Not really. They brushed it under the rug after her summer in Europe. She had run away from life that summer – and this summer for that matter. _Probably stems from Mom's cut-and-run mentality._ She learned at an early age when things got tough you ran. And that's just exactly what she did. She quit. And disappointed everyone. But most importantly she disappointed herself.

Jess was right. What was she doing? How had he got his life straightened out, while she let hers fall apart? Her influences probably weren't the best. Logan and company were spoiled rich kids – and they were still kids, they'd yet to grow up and become adults. It was the life her mom ran from. That life was what hers had become. Living in her grandparents' pool house for God's sake. What was she doing? She was supposed to be the next Christiane Amanpour. She was supposed to go to Harvard.

Harvard.

Why had that dream died? For a boy. True, she really didn't want to be so far from home. But mostly she chose Yale because of Jess – and a false hope he would come back again for her. She had horrible luck with boyfriends, which probably came from her dad's lack of interest in her life.

Dean had been sweet – the perfect first boyfriend. But he was always jealous. She knew ruined it for good the day she kissed Jess. After that, it was over – it was only a matter of time before they broke up. The memory of their innocent relationship would have been perfect had she not tainted it a year and a half ago. That fateful night was the beginning of the downward spiral. Sleeping with a married man. Her mother _had_ taught her better than that. She became the other woman. She broke apart a marriage. And she regretted it. More than anything. Life would have most likely turned out differently had she not had sex with Dean.

Tristan was another regret in her life. He was a could have been. Really deep down she knew there was more to him than his King of Chilton playboy persona. She thought back to how she told him she hated him – that was a lie. She never hated him, but she was scared by the way she felt about him. He wasn't safe, like Dean. And she wanted safe. _I wonder how he turned after military school_.

And then there was Jess. God, the saga between Jess and her was never ending. She just kept popping back into her life. And now that her mom and Luke headed towards the alter, he would be a permanent fixture. She fell for him; in fact though she said she loved Dean, Jess had truly been her first love. But he was a crappy boyfriend, he knew it, she knew it. But that didn't change her love for him. Things went down hill so fast after the keg party, it left her spinning. She would have given him her virginity that night had they not been at Kyle's. She was ready. She wanted him to be her first. In the back of her mind, she really wanted him to be her only. But life has a way of not working out how she wanted it to. He flunked out of school and left town leaving her heartbroken. She may have been able to get over him if he had not kept coming back. The day he told her that he loved her she had not known what to say. She fought saying it back – she was mad at him. But it was true, she still loved him. Then after his mom's wedding when he asked her to run away with him, again she fought saying what she really wanted to say. She would have left with him in a heartbeat – but she couldn't, she wouldn't let her self. That was probably why she really slept with Dean, because she had been over him for a long time. She was just reeling from the latest emotional blow from Jess.

After the debacle with Dean, that led to Logan. If she hadn't slept with Dean she probably wouldn't have been okay with a no-strings attached relationship. Not that she had really been okay with it. But she wouldn't have gone along with the idea at all if everything hadn't happened with Dean. Logan was charming. He was rich. He was different. Her mom hated him – she thought he was corrupting her daughter. Luke hated him, but she couldn't go by that because he wasn't thrilled with any guy who was her boyfriend – even his own nephew. But she ignored that. What did they know right? Logan wasn't a bad person; he had just been spoiled all his life. He felt things were entitled to him. He was immature. A nice guy at times, but immature. It was her own fault she let her life get this way, but he wasn't helping any.

After that fateful day last spring when Mitchum told her she didn't have "it," her life and quickly spiraled out of control. She had become just what she never wanted to be. She joined the D.A.R. The D.A.R.! What had she been thinking? Those were her grandmother's friends, a bunch of trophy wives. And she spent her nights out partying with Logan and his friends. Partying had never been her thing. She was the girl who took a book everywhere. When was the last time she actually read something?

Slowly she lowered herself onto the sand, a beeping in her pocket reminding her people were probably wondering what happened to her. 7 new messages.

"Rory, it's your grandmother. Where are you? Nobody's heard from you and we're very concerned. If you don't call soon, I'm calling the police."

_Great_, she thought.

"Rory, your grandmother and I are very worried. Please call us back."

"Ace, your grandma just called me. I know you probably don't want to hear from me, but please let us know you're okay. I'm worried about you."

"Rory, love, Logan is going crazy. He said you're missing. Now kitten, let us know you're fine. And if you're in trouble, remember to call me – I'll bail you out of jail if necessary. Call me back when you get this. We're worried about you, love."

"Reporter girl, please check in with someone. Logan's going nuts."

"Rory Gilmore, you better be in serious trouble. You're grandmother came over here and I swear she looked like she was going to beat the crap out of me. And then Blondie came over and begged me to help him find you. Call someone will you? I really hope you're not hurt."

She had to smile at that message.

"Rory, honey," her mother began, obviously crying. Her eyes filled. "No one knows where you are. Sweets please call someone. I'm so scared right now. I love you. I'm so sorry, Rory. So very, very sorry."

Tears poured over her eyelids, cascading down her face. The magnitude of her decisions hit home. Tentatively she dialed the oh-so-familiar number.

"Rory?" Luke asked.

"Luke."

She heard him inhale. "Are you okay?"

"I'm – I'm fine."

She heard her mom in the background. "Is that Rory?"

"Rory?"

"Mom," she choked out.

"Baby, are you okay? Please tell Mommy you're alright."

"I'm okay, Mom. I'm not hurt. I just had to get away from there. I'm sorry. For everything. I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

"Honey, I know you are. I am too. Just come home."

"I can't. I need sometime. Call everyone, please. I promise I'll come home soon. Just not now."

Her mom sighed. "I understand. I love you. Call me if you need anything. Promise."

"I promise. I love you too, Mom."

Her life would get better. Things would never be the same again. She couldn't erase the past, but she could learn from it. She'd piece her life back together little by little. Some time away from everyone would help. She'd learn who she was again. This was what she needed.

_The End _


End file.
